Pride, children, and libraries

The Standard June 27, 2026

These days it is not uncommon in the U.S. for a library to host an intergenerational event for families to highlight children’s books by LGBTQ authors. In the most conservative scenarios for such programming, these books are beloved classics which contain no sexual or gender identity content or LGBTQ characters. The organizers choose specific authors based on sexual orientation or gender identity with hopes that children who might feel different or unlike certain stereotypes can be encouraged and supported by adults pointing out these distinctions. In their experience and with their worldview, they believe they are helping children, and might not be able to understand objections to their way of thinking.

In our country parents are free to raise their children as they choose. My husband and I prioritized our highest goal as showing the love and grace of God. Our three children grew to understand the inherent value and dignity of every single person and that not one of us deserves the free gift offered to us through Jesus Christ. Our years together included loads of joy, laughter, and fun. Since we wanted them to enjoy what we considered a rich childhood without growing up too fast, we allowed our kids to watch age-appropriate shows, sans romance, and refrained from any talk of them having girlfriends or boyfriends in preschool or elementary school.  We presented sex education when they were near fifth grade and affirmed what Jesus says in the Gospels of Matthew and Mark that God created male and female and designed marriage between one man and one woman. We taught and tried to model the marriage ideal of a lifelong covenant between two adults who faithfully respect each other. We read countless books to our kids, often taking delight in the contents, without noting the sexual attraction of the author. They were immersed in a worldview that any kind of person could be remarkably gifted and creative and that everyone should be treated well. We taught them to include those who seemed to be left out and to stick up for the underdog. For our children, G-rated joking, modest dress, and lack of PDAs (Public Display of Affection) easily coexisted with lively conversation, learning, and amusement.

Romantic unmarried couples visiting our home for overnight stays receive a warm welcome and two separate rooms. Straight and gay guests understand our convictions and don’t misinterpret them as hateful. Most people respect consistent, well-thought-out beliefs. Unlike in countries like Afghanistan, Iran, Pakistan, Qatar, Saudi Arabia, Somalia, Uganda, and Yemen, I’ve never met anyone who believes in criminal punishment for sexual acts between consenting adults. I have, sadly, seen a biblical sexual ethic presented without kindness.

Some people are more private and do not care to discuss their sexuality or to hear about someone else’s. A few LGBTQ children’s authors typically presented during Pride Month kept their sexual orientation confidential while they were alive and left no indication before death that they were okay with this being publicized postmortem. For some people, sexual orientation can be complex and deeply personal. Christians have to recognize that many individuals and families experience inner turmoil and/or societal cruelty; we must be kind and empathetic.

Jesus taught numerous hard truths. “And he said, ‘What comes out of a person is what defiles them. For from within, out of the heart of a person, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, coveting, wickedness, deceit, sensuality, envy, slander, pride, foolishness. All of these evil things come from within, and they defile a person.’” Mark 7:20-23

Most of these actions have nothing to do with sexuality. It is sobering to see where we each fall short in our pursuit of holiness, as again and again, we have to take the plank out of our own eye. The ancient Greek word for “sexual immorality” is “porneia,” an umbrella term for illicit sexual activity as Jesus’ listeners would have understood. This includes sex between unmarried parties, incest, and homosexual acts.

Many Christians believe that the design of a good God for human flourishing involves boundaries and that what God deems off limits should not be celebrated. We don’t expect those with a different definition of marriage to celebrate only traditional marriage. Mutual understanding and tolerance are important. Our society increasingly presents sex between any consenting, non-cheating adults as a good, natural tendency and those who disagree as being motivated by hate. Instead, we should refrain from labels or stereotypes and encourage healthy, robust dialogue about these profoundly intricate topics.

A friend borrowed my copy of Robert A.J. Gagnon’s The Bible and Homosexual Practice: Texts and Hermeneutics, probably the most exhaustive book on the subject, and inadvertently left a helpful note inside. “1. Give each other grace. 2. Choose to value people over issues. 3. Seek understanding not agreement. In doing these three, the world will see our love for one another. We are sanctified for this (in truth).”